Are you the father of the child or children you are currently bringing up as your own? Are you sure? What if you find out that you are not the father? How will that affect you, your relationship with the child's mother, your relationship with the child and your relationship with other members of the family? Might you also be a father of someone's child without having been told? Might someone else be bringing up your child without your knowledge? What is your response to that possible scenario? Can you guarantee how many children you are a father to? What may be the financial implications to you if you have to pay maintenance for each child that is yours, whether or not you are raising him, her or them in your current family?
According to a recent study these are the sort of questions that many fathers are now finding they have to answer and to then deal with the consequences. The study about paternity has been carried out using research from the past fifty years and it says that as many as 1 in 25 men are not the fathers of the children who they are, or have been, bringing up as their own. This knowledge is causing untold emotional damage and can also result in further breakdowns of relationships.
In the past the mother would have just kept quiet if she thought or knew that the child's 'daddy' wasn't his biological father, hoping that the secret would never be revealed. In many cases the child would have been killed by abortion to hide the unfaithfulness of the woman. Today's society however, has lost all sense of shame and multiple partners, especially outside marriage (but sadly also within marriage as well), is promoted as being acceptable so long as 'safe sex' (using a condom) is practiced.
We reap what we sow. The Child Support Agency is determined that the father of each child shall pay maintenance for that child after a breakup of a relationship and so more and more men are having paternity tests done to ensure that the child is actually their own and not somebody else's. Many youngsters who may even still be at school will find out one day, maybe sooner rather than later, that not only have they helped conceive a child but they are responsible for that child's upkeep until the child is 18. Denying the child is your's is now not sufficient as a DNA test can prove otherwise. How many young men are told this when sexual health educators tell them that 'safe sex' is fun? How many would decide to try and force the mother of their child to kill him or her by abortion rather than be prepared to pay for the child's upkeep?
The report explains that those men who find out the child who they have been bringing up is not theirs are devastated by the news and ideally need counselling prior to having the test done and immediately after the result is given. The symptoms of their reaction according to the report seems to mimic the after effects that a mother experiences after she has killed her child by abortion. This is whether or not the father knew about his child being destroyed, and whether or not he agreed with the mother's decision to kill their baby by abortion. So it seems that 1 in 25 men are suffering a form of post traumatic stress while 1 in 4 women are suffering from post abortion syndrome.
Studies have been carried out concerning paternity for the last fifty years or so, yet there are still no long term studies into the short or long term effects on women who kill their children by abortion. The existence of Post Abortion Syndrome is still denied by the majority of the medical world.
Our children are blessings from God yet even they are no longer sure who their father is or if they should have had other brothers or sisters that were killed by abortion. Family life is disintegrating at an ever increasing rate yet the government are still intent on pumping millions of pounds into 'safer sex'; free condoms for all youngsters, free morning after pills for any young girls that may have had unprotected sex or their contraception failed, free abortions if they do find they are pregnant and sexually transmitted diseases - some of which are for life - that come free with the promiscuity that is promoted everywhere. And for those boys or men who find they are fathers, maintenance payments until their child is 18.
The alternative is to remain a virgin until you marry and have your children and remain faithful to each other throughout your marriage in the knowledge that your children are definitely your own and you will not have been open to the risk of contracting any sexually transmitted diseases.  Saved sex or 'safer sex'. Which consequences would you prefer to live with?
Please visit our Healing page if you have had an abortion or supported someone who has.
If you have had an abortion and would like to contact us, in confidence,
Grace at United for Life.